


The Ache from Heartbreak

by stars28



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-08-01 05:09:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16278332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stars28/pseuds/stars28
Summary: Part of him was glad that he’d cultivated the habit of disappearing immediately to the van after photoshoots, it meant that today’s behaviour wouldn’t be out of character for him and no one would question him.





	The Ache from Heartbreak

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic in the GOT7 fandom.

_“Breaking up comes at a cost_  
_I know I'll miss this mistake_  
_Every word I try to choose_  
_Either way I'm gonna lose_  
_Can't take the ache from heartbreak…”_  
**\- No Good in Goodbye, The Script.**

* * *

Mark entered the dorms quietly, not wanting to wake the other members. The last thing he wanted right now was an interrogation over where he’d been all day. He slipped his shoes off by the door and crept to his room, attempting to avoid the creaky floorboards in the dark.

As he passed the living room, a voice came from within, “Mark hyung? Is that you?”

_Youngjae._ Mark should’ve known that the younger would be up playing video games. He went back to the living room. Sure enough, he could see Youngjae on the couch lit only by the TV screen.

“Yeah, it’s me.” He replied, praying that the younger didn’t hear the hoarseness of his voice. He’d been yelling or crying for most of the day. It hadn’t exactly been the relaxing day off he’d hoped it would be.

“Where’ve you been all day? You were gone before we’d even woke up.”

If he’d known how his day was going to go, Mark wouldn’t have got out of bed, much less left the dorm. But unfortunately he didn’t have the power of seeing into the future and so now he had to answer Youngjae.

“I went out with some friends.” He said, sliding a foot along the floorboards next to the doorway, “Nothing wrong with that, is there?”

Youngjae just hummed, having already been sucked back into his game.

Mark continued to his shared room, breathing a sigh of relief. When he got there, he opened the door slowly and snuck in, not wanting to wake Jackson and have to endure an in depth conversation with his best friend at four in the morning about where he’d been. He loved Jackson, he did, but he didn’t feel up to lying to him right then.

He changed into his sleepwear – boxers and an old t-shirt – and clambered into his bed silently. His head on his pillow and staring up at the ceiling, Mark doubted that he’d get any sleep due to the hole in his heart.

(-)

As he’d suspected, Mark had got no sleep whatsoever. Instead, he’d spent the previous hours wondering where his relationship had gone wrong. Surely there should’ve been some sign in the texts and calls that his boyfriend had been thinking about breaking up with him, especially near the end.

“Mark – oh you’re already awake.” Jaebum said, entering the room.

“Yeah.” Mark replied, sitting up and rubbing his gritty eyes, “I am.”

“You look like you’ve been up all night. When did you even come in?”

“About four.”

“You look like shit. Maybe don’t go out all day and then come in early morning when you know we’ve got schedule the next day.”

Mark couldn’t say that he _wished_ that he’d stayed in yesterday, save himself from the heartbreak of breaking up with his boyfriend of a year and a half. It was still so fresh, he didn’t really believe it had happened. His heart hurt and he wanted more than anything else to go and see his boyfriend, to get back together. But he couldn’t do that, he had a schedule to do.

“Yeah, you’re right about that.” Mark mumbled as Jaebum left the room after making sure Jackson was awake.

(-)

Even though he was known for being quiet, Mark knew that he was more so than normal through breakfast and boarding on the van to JYP. He also knew that Jaebum and Jinyoung had picked up on his low mood. The maknaes had yet to pick up on it, but then they were busy annoying Jackson, not paying attention to him. But Mark was glad of that; he didn’t think he could deal with everybody asking what was wrong.

Jinyoung twisted around in his seat to face Mark, saying, “Mark hyung?”

“Yeah Jinyoung?” He said, attempting to smile. From the look of unconcealed concern on Jinyoung’s face, he didn’t succeed that well.

“Are you alright?”

Mark tried to truly smile this time as he responded, “I’m fine. Honestly.”

Thankfully, Jinyoung dropped the matter and left Mark to stare out of the window. The noises of the members faded away as he thought about the good times he’d had with his boyfriend.

_There was the time when Mark had surprised his boyfriend with take-out and candles in the living room of his apartment._

_There was the time they’d managed to have a meal out for once, without Mark being seen and recognised._

_There was the time Mark had stayed over, bitterly regretting that he’d had to leave his boyfriend snuggled in the bed early in the morning._

“Mark? Mark, we’re here.”

Mark blinked several times, trying to rid the bittersweet memories from his mind before following Jackson out of the van. The cool air was refreshing on his face and helped clear his mind somewhat. He was glad that they only had a photoshoot scheduled for today; he didn’t think he could fake being happy in front of any fans. As he entered the double doors, he resolved to not think about his ex-boyfriend while he was here. He had to act like his heart _wasn’t_ completely shattered into a million tiny pieces.

When they reached the third floor, Mark was informed that he was going to be the first to be photographed before the group shots later on. The staff whisked him away from the other members to get him ready, which he was glad of because it meant less time keeping a fake smile on his face for the others. At least he wouldn’t be expected to say anything when being photographed.

(-)

The minute his photographs were done, Mark thanked the photographers and left the room, letting them set up for whoever was next. He hadn’t paid attention to the order that they were being photographed, only to the fact that someone would find him when it was time for the group shots later on, too focused on concealing the feeling of heartbreak that was taking over him from everybody else. No one else knew about his (ex) boyfriend and no one would.

Mark felt bad for brushing past Jaebum and Jackson without a word to either of them. But he couldn’t speak about what was bothering him, not when he felt like his heart was breaking all over again. Maybe it was a good thing that he was known for being quieter than everybody else in GOT7, it meant that the other members didn’t question anything when he went silent. (It didn’t change the fact that he just _knew_ that Jaebum and Jinyoung were worried about him.)

After a few minutes walking, he found himself in a forgotten dead-end corridor. He could tell because there was a fine layer of dust everywhere. But the important thing was that there was nobody in sight. He brushed some of the dust away and sat on the wooden floor, furthest away from the corner where someone could come around and see him.

He wished hopelessly that he’d had more time to see his ex. Maybe that was one reason he’d broken up with Mark. The life of an idol wasn’t made for having relationships though. Maybe Mark hadn’t had enough patience with him after long days practicing GOT7’s choreography. He could feel a few tears starting to roll down his cheeks.

(-)

“Mark hyung? Are you here?”

_Oh shit._ That was Jackson. Mark tried in vain to scrub all evidence of tears off his face. But from the concerned look on Jackson’s face, he didn’t quite succeed.

“Mark hyung, were you crying? Are you ok?” Jackson asked, crouching down next to him and placing a warm hand on his shoulder.

This is _exactly_ what Mark had avoided last night, or rather this morning, when he’d crept into the dorms at four. He tried to smile for his best friend, even as Jackson started to rub his shoulder gently, as if coaxing him to tell him what was wrong. He didn’t want to explain the reason for his tears.

“I’m fine.” Mark said, clearing his throat and wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his jumper, “Really.”

“I don’t believe you Mark.”

Of all the times for his best friend to be stubborn, Mark thought exasperatedly, it had to be now.

“Did you come and find me for a reason?” Mark shook Jackson’s hand off him and pushed himself off the floor, wincing when his muscles protested after being in one position for so long. Actually, how long _had_ he been here for? He’d lost track of time a while ago.

Mark waited patiently as Jackson got up and answered his question.

“We’re going to be starting the group photos in a bit, so they want everyone in the same room.”

(-)

As soon as the group photos were done, Mark took refuge in the van which was waiting to take them back to the dorms. Smiling and laughing for the photos had taken a lot out of him and now all he wanted to do was sob over his lost love in private and then sleep. Part of him was glad that he’d cultivated the habit of disappearing immediately to the van after photoshoots, it meant that today’s behaviour wouldn’t be out of character for him and no one would question him.

“Mark hyung?” BamBam said, as he climbed in next to Mark, “Are you alright? It sounded like you’d been crying earlier on.”

Mark was acutely aware of everybody else who’d just clambered in the van and knew that he had to lie. He turned, faking a smile at the second youngest member, and replied, “I’m fine Bam. Promise.” He didn’t want anyone to worry about him, not when all that was bothering him was the fact that his boyfriend had broken his heart.

BamBam hummed in acceptance of Mark’s answer and leant against Mark’s side, seemingly falling asleep with his head against his shoulder. Almost automatically, Mark carded a hand softly through BamBam’s hair, receiving a gentle hum in response. He smiled, admitting it was nice to have some skinship after avoiding everyone. It didn’t solve his broken heart, but it was still nice.

(-)

Apparently Jaebum and Jinyoung were worried about him more than Mark knew because they let him have the first shower when they got back to the dorms. It was unusual – Jaebum typically either made the maknaes have the first shower or snagged the first one on account of being the leader, depending on how tough the day had been. He couldn’t say it wasn’t welcome though.

After the shower, Mark joined the others in the living room, where one of Youngjae’s dramas was onscreen. BamBam and Yugyeom were crammed together on one sofa, with Jackson sat on the floor, leaning against the sofa. Jaebum and Jinyoung were in a similar position on the other sofa, with Youngjae on the floor.

“My turn!” BamBam shouted, jumping up and racing out of the room.

Jinyoung and Jackson started laughing at the younger’s antics. Mark managed a small smile when Yugyeom patted the empty space next to him and went over, feeling Jackson lean against his legs once he’d sat down.

“What are we watching?” He asked Yugyeom quietly, not wanting to disturb Youngjae, who seemed extremely invested in what was happening on the TV screen.

“I actually have no idea.” Yugyeom answered, just as quietly.

Mark chuckled half-heartedly, reclining back into the sofa and focusing on the screen. It took him about half an hour to realize that it was possibly the worse drama for him to be watching with his current mindset and broken heart. The drama was a romantic one. In that time, most of the members had had a shower, barring Jinyoung and Jaebum.

The characters on screen were fighting about something and then the girl stormed out of the room, yelling how she thought that their relationship was over. And shit, this was hitting a little too close to home for Mark. He could feel the overwhelming sadness building in his chest. There were tears gathering at the corners of his eyes.

He had to get out of the living room before he started to cry in front of his friends. He stood up and ignored the calls of his friends, going to the kitchen. He would’ve loved to go to his room and climb in bed, but he knew that doing so would alert the remaining members that something was wrong.

Sitting down heavily in a kitchen chair, Mark dropped his head into his hands. He felt the tears he’d been keeping at bay spill over onto his cheeks and before long he was sobbing quietly. _Fuck._ He just wanted to be with his boyfriend, was that so hard? He wanted cuddle and watch stupid movies. He wanted to be able to text him first thing in the morning and last thing at night. He wanted to buy silly but well-meaning airport gifts for him just to see a smile appear on his face. He wanted to do all the things that he’d taken for granted while they’d been together.

“Hyung?!”

Mark jolted his head up, unable to stop the tears. The maknae of GOT7 was stood in the doorway to the kitchen, a shocked expression on his face.

He tried to reassure Yugyeom, mumbling, “I’m – I’m… fine.”

It definitely didn’t work because Yugyeom immediately yelled, “HYUNGS! Mark’s crying!”

Within seconds, every member was trying to get through the door. Had Mark been able to stop crying, he would’ve laughed at the cursing going on. But he didn’t, instead he kept sobbing, dropping his head into his hands again. Vaguely he heard Jinyoung telling the younger members to go back to the living room and shushing their loud protests.

Then there were gentle hands pulling Mark up out of his chair and out of the kitchen. His sight was blurred by tears, so he didn’t realize that it was Jaebum until he was pushed down to sit on a bed, the bed sinking when his leader joined him. He blinked and sniffled, trying to stop the tears running down his face.

“Jaebum?” He said hoarsely as Jaebum initiated a hug. He turned and buried his face in Jaebum’s shoulder, taking comfort from Jaebum’s warm body.

The door creaked open and then shut again. Mark instinctively tried to get away from Jaebum, who simply held on, shushing him and saying, “Mark hyung, it’s just Jinyoung.”

He relaxed in his leader’s hold, even as Jinyoung sat down on the other side of him and started to rub his back.

“Hush hush, let it all out.” Jinyoung murmured, his hand tracing up and down Mark’s spine.

Eventually, Mark’s sobs turned into hiccups and then into heavy breathing. He attempted to untangle himself from Jaebum and Jinyoung, but they didn’t budge a bit. Instead they allowed him to sit up properly, instead of being crushed against Jaebum’s shoulder.

“There’s clearly something wrong Mark.” Jinyoung said, a worried frown on his face, “And I’d like it if you told us what it was.”

“But,” Jaebum added quietly, placing a hand lightly on Mark’s shoulder and squeezing softly, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

The fact that they’d given him a way out of this mess without having to explain himself made Mark’s eyes glisten with tears again. Now he _wanted_ to explain.

“Fuck.” He said, wiping his eyes, “It’s just… He broke up with me and it hurts so much. Why did he break up with me?”

It was silent for a few moments, Mark twisting his fingers anxiously, before Jaebum asked, “Who broke up with you?”

Mark sighed, feeling the sadness well up in his chest again. He explained how his boyfriend had broken up with him, when all he’d been expecting was a quiet relaxing day, and how that day’s plans had flown out of the window. How he’d tried to apologize and persuade him to get back together. By the end of the explanation, Mark had tears rolling down his cheeks again.

“And he didn’t even give you a proper answer?” Jinyoung said, sounding annoyed.

He shook his head, sniffing and wiping his tears away.

“What an asshole. I want to kill him.” His leader sounded pissed, “Mark hyung, can I kill him?”

“What? _No!_ You can’t!” Mark said, looking to Jinyoung for help, but found that the younger looked like he was seriously considering Jaebum’s idea, like it the best idea he’d heard all day, “Guys, don’t be stupid about this. It happened and now I’ve got to deal with it.”

Jaebum sighed, saying regretfully, “I suppose you’re right. You usually are.”

“If nothing else, you’ve managed to cheer me up a bit.” Mark offered, with a small smile. He wasn’t ok and he didn’t think he would be for a while yet, but at least he could count on Jinyoung and Jaebum. “Which isn’t nothing.”

“That’s true.” Jaebum replied, smiling at him.

Mark yawned, the tiredness that had been clinging to him all day finally catching up with him. Now that he’d told Jaebum and Jinyoung what was bothering him, he couldn’t feel anything but tiredness.

“I think I’m gonna go to bed now.” He said, getting up and stretching, “Seeing as I got no sleep last night.”

“Good idea.” Jaebum said, getting up as well, “The others are going to suspect something. What do you want me to tell them?”

“Erm… I _will_ tell them the truth, but not yet.” Mark walked towards the bedroom door, “In a couple of week’s maybe when I feel less heartbroken.”

“So I’ll tell them anything that comes to mind.”

Mark followed Jaebum out of the room after saying thank you to the both of them, which they brushed off like it was nothing.

“Wait! Jaebum!” He yelled, something having just occurred to him as Jaebum walked towards the living room, “Don’t tell them _anything!_ Make it believable!”

He was going to regret giving Jaebum complete control over his excuse, wasn’t he?

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments would be lovely!


End file.
